Quit touching my junk, pervert! - There! This'll teach those filthy bastards who's lovable. - All I ever wanted was to make music with you. I never meant to hurt anyone...or help anyone. - Hey baby, wanna kill all humans? - Hey, what kind of party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker. - You were in the best coma I've ever seen! - Compare your lives to mine and kill yourselves. - Who are you, and why should I care? - The list of blockable offenses is ever-growing: a cruise with no message - a message with no pic - years of pointless messaging when everyone else you know is busy/gone and you need weekly/monthly/random stimulus - ignoring an innocuous, complimentary or friendly message from me - messaging/cruising/viewing repeatedly when I have never replied or shown any signs of interest in you - messaging at all, especially to attack, complain about, and "psychoanalyze" these very words - making plans and meeting and being anything but an honest individual - wanting the cam up with no reciprocation - being an obvious masturbating fuckwad - claiming you are "real" in your profile - moronic braggadocio about your job, degree or your risible ability to shoot guns, march in a line with 20 other idiots, or justifiably wear certain clothes (does wearing rubber make you a genuine steel-belted radial? What's with the crying demands for validation?) - saying your pictures are "speaking" anything more than to the fact that you are nothing more than free fiction and porn - being people lacking in humility and depth who have to live in a "place", fall for an image, boast a million friends, bow to idolatry, and who can't date without their pack leader's approval - "gym" and "pretty" people who have to let you know just how "gym-and-pretty-people" they are - oh, and above all, you're all susceptible to a good old permanent shunning for being shallow shitheads of the groupthink mentality and abiding those that commit any of the aforementioned. - The slightest tolerance of bullshit is not an endearing virtue; it's anathema. - Now run; this soapbox has been rigged to explode. And don't think I can't happily, easily, and eternally ignore the brains out of each and every single pathetic one of you. - Cause your idiotic human ideals are laughable - Everybody you knew or loved in the 20th century is dead! - I like having an internet dating service. It's like pimping except you don't need to use the term "upside your head". - I'm an expert at not caring. The secret is to stop giving a rat's ass about anyone else and start thinking of things that you want, that you deserve, that the world owes you. - Just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged. - Emotions are dumb and should be hated. - I'm sorry, guys. I never meant to hurt you. Just to destroy everything you ever believed in. - It crawled around on four rubber wheels...like a wolf. - Lets face it, comedy's a dead art form. Now, tragedy...That's funny! So long, coffin-stuffers