Member Steveloveskink has found himself a convert to chastity. He tells us his story here, as well as providing a few tips for those that are curious on how to get started.
When you stop to think about it, having your dick wrapped in steel and having zero access to it is pretty damn strange. It's not something that a lot of people would do to themselves. It's also pretty damn hot, which is why I've found myself regularly doing it.
As a sub, I love the tension between the control I have and the control that might be taken away, so I'd dabbled with a couple of off -the-shelf devices to get a feel for being locked. Pinching, rubbing and more discomfort than an amorous puppy at a neutering clinic meant that I always ran into problems after four or five days, so I measured myself up and splashed out on a custom device from Steelworxx. Three months later I was the proud owner of a made to measure metal chastity device.
The device I have has a built-in sound, and I was nervous about how that would work day after day after day. But being keen to take my new device for a spin, I excitedly agreed when a Dom friend of mine challenged me to wear it until we met at Folsom a month later. It fit like a glove, and the sensation as the steel went in and around me was a clear message that my dick was a no-go area.
As amazing as it feels, it took some getting used to. The extra bulk under my clothes, the discomfort during night time erections, having to sit down to pee all the time (urinals are no longer an option) and the fact that I couldn't have a quick fumble whenever I wanted were all adjustments that I was forced to make.
But the feeling of being locked all the time, and this is the strange part, was empowering. There isn't a half-way with chastity. You're not kinda, sorta locked. You have to accept it and own it, and there's a power to that. Even though I was giving up a fundamental piece of control over my own body, it just felt right.
The longest I've worn it is 47 days, after which I was given a ruined orgasm as a "reward" (gee thanks). Having been unlocked for a couple of weeks it feels like it's time to go back in, and it just so happens that I've been given a new challenge to go 70 days.
The funny thing is, I have the keys at home. I can unlock whenever I want. But I take the commitment I make to someone seriously, and have been pleased at how self-disciplined I am. There are times when a Recon or Grindr meet gets organised and I want to cum so much that I think I'm going to explode. "I can unlock just for this meet and then go straight back in; one orgasm won't matter", I say, trying to bargain with myself. But I don't, and I've had just as much fun (perhaps even more) having meets while I'm locked.
It's got to the point where even when I'm unlocked I don't need to masturbate like I used to (shares in Kleenex have plummeted). I don't need to cum to be a man, to be a sub, to be a kinky son of a bitch. For me, the focus of playing isn't about having an orgasm, it's about letting go.
Which is how chastity can actually be freeing.
A few people have asked me about being locked and how they can explore chastity, and there are some simple pieces of advice I'd offer:
1. Find the right device for you. Everyone's proportions are different, so don't expect to be locked 24/7 into the first device you try. Chastity might be hella frustrating, but it shouldn't be uncomfortable and should never be unhealthy.
2. Set the ground rules. It's your body, and you have to figure out the rules of chastity no matter whether you're self-locking or being locked by someone else. I unlock every 4 or 5 days to clean thoroughly, for example, so hygiene needs to be a part of your routine. It's also a good idea to keep an emergency key to hand, just in case you have a genuine reason to unlock. And no, being horny is not a genuine reason.
3. Lean in. Chastity demands that you let go of the control you normally have. Lean in to that. Own it. Let go. Yes, it gets really frustrating, but that tension and control is rare and delicious.
Chastity won't be for everyone, but if you're up for exploring the wonderfully wide world of kink and fetish then I'd definitely recommend it. You might be surprised what you find.