Kink to me is about expressing sensuality, sexuality and personality in what you wear and how you satisfy your fetish(es).
I understand that the colour black is the standard fetish aesthetic, but I feel sexy in the colour that speaks to me the most. Pink is light, playful, and a bit cheeky, and I love it. Whether I'm in pink latex, harnesses or other gear I feel as if it's an extension of my skin- and I can still be dominant or submissive when donning it. It's empowering to "wear yourself" rather than a standard piece of fetish-wear.
Pink is associated with femininity, but I find power in breaking the stereotype. Princess Peach to me is an icon- how she kicks ass in Smash Bros., and the like, while having a submissive façade is relatable. There's not one thing wrong with being a feminine character either, but I almost get off on fooling people that believe because I wear pink I only bottom.
I find it hard in the kink community – heck the gay community as a whole – for wanting something more than your average vanilla one night hook-up. I describe myself as "wholesomely kinky", I like the idea of owning someone and being owned by them, trying new things, entering each other, watersports and the like. Sort of like emotional chastity without the cage. Through my lack of trust in men in the past, it fits well to get to know someone who is open minded and to go all out trying all sorts in the bedroom.
I discovered pup play from a pup I met while living in Ireland. I saw him with a hood on a dating app and was very intrigued, I liked how much personality it had whilst being erotic. Before then, I thought I was part of the "furry fandom" but I didn't feel I could relate to any wild animal. Pup suited me, not that I wanted to be a dog per se, but I wanted to unleash the more animalistic side of my personality, whilst keeping cheeky.
Pup play fits in quite well for me too because I crave affection. It quenches that need without anything having to be penetrative at all. Body licking is an underrated activity that I relish, along with massage and general feeling. Tactility is awesome. Scents or "man-smell" as I call it are amazing to me. Having something with someone's scent is like having them right next to you in spirit and emotion. All this can be part of sensual/sexual pup play. 'Safe for work (sort of)' pup play is a great way of showcasing an extension of your personality too, the gear is very customisable nowadays, so I feel at home in my hood.
Unfortunately, I live somewhere in the UK where kink, or even being gay, isn't well heard of, and it's physically and mentally isolating. Luckily for me I've found a diamond in the rough – pole dance class. In an attic hidden away at the top of the theatre there is a studio I attend every week. I can wear harnesses, pink, and briefs without judgement. The girls and I get along as a big family. It's my outlet to express my kink in a small close-minded town, whilst developing the art form. It's extremely liberating and fantastic for body confidence. I find the gym too daunting.
Being a new University student means kink on a dime. Whatever I have left from saving or transport goes into my slowly growing kink wardrobe. I love fashion and defying the norm when it comes to clothing. Clothing can be sexually liberating without it being stereotypical too. I have an obsession with crop tops at the moment, which is great because they show skin, come in all sorts of colours, and are much more affordable than most gear on the market. I like to get the sides of my hair shaved really short as I love the skin feel. It is another cheap way of feeling sexy, even if it's to my parents' disapproval. I'm lucky they don't know I like being pissed on for sport.
I long to go to a fetish event. Through the magic of Recon I have met some lovely guys, and I am tagging along to Kennel Klub in Manchester in June with a friend I have met. Hopefully after university I can get out of here. Those of you who feel trapped where you are - it is possible. I advise to find an outlet for expression in the meantime, for me it's Recon, Instagram and pole dance!
If you have a particular fetish or kink that you'd like to write about, send your ideas to: firstname.lastname@example.org