MEMBER EXPERIENCE: A Defiant Sub's Desperate Search
from Recon News
17 March 2016
I'm a muscled idiot that enjoys fighting. I love the high that comes from the pain and exhaustion. But something was always missing and I found out what that was when I was subjected to my first bondage session.
Mine's the typical story of a drunk straight guy tricked into bondage. A vile Master had me honor-bound to do this foul deed and endure untold indignities. But it turns out the dude was a dud and no Master at all, fumbling around and clearly lost. He did one thing right though. When he put restraints on me, OMFG, I had never felt anything so exhilarating! I was hooked on bondage in that instant!! But since this guy couldn't do it, I needed to find someone that could finish the job.
I feverishly answered ads...and got dumped more times than I care to count. All the Doms would get "sick" just before our session and send me a text. No one would tell me why I was unworthy but I felt the humiliation just the same. Stinging with shame, I marched on, still looking for my first real experience.
I stumbled onto Recon...and straight into the clutches of a waiting Troll. Under Master X's orders, I hid my Recon profile and bought plane tickets to meet a guy I didn't know for an "extended interview". This was stupid, even for me, but I was desperate. You can guess what happened next. Just before I flew out, the guy left me a voicemail saying he was sick. Ouch!!! In hindsight, that was a lucky thing but it was a crushing blow then.
With wounded pride, I crawled back onto Recon. This time, I met wonderful people full of advice and guidance. Eventually, I even had my first mild sessions, thanks to some kindly Doms that took pity on me. But I was drawn to the rougher side of things and wanted more. Finally, I knew what I needed and began contacting experienced Masters full of Dark Evil that would tear me apart!!
They all ignored me.
What was I doing wrong??? I got a reality check when a Recon bud finally explained.
"Dude, you're not a sub."
"Huh? I sure as hell am! I'm the guy getting chained down and whipped!"
"Well, yes that's true but you scare the Doms with your attitude. Didn't you just shred a guy's St Andrews Cross and chase him from the room?"
"Yep!" I chuckled proudly "That's the 2nd one. But I paid the guy for it."
"That's not the point. As a sub, you're supposed to submit."
Whoa! Talk about missing the obvious!! I felt horrible. I didn't fit anywhere, even on Recon. I could never be a good sub; my nature wouldn't allow it. That realization hit hard and I was ready to give up.
No! I am NOT giving up!! I don't claim to be a prized stallion but I'm a damn fine war horse! Surely some Dom out there won't geld me and will let me be "me".
One day this dude contacts me and we hit it off as friends but he's not the Dom for me. I needed FIERCE and he's a nice guy. But he's a clever SOB and talks me into a week. At the very least, it will be a fun vacation with a bud.
It was a fun vacation...FOR HIM!! What the fuck??? How the hell did I get chained, stretched and completely helpless?? Where did he learn to do all this shit?? I'm a badass fighter, damn it!! How is he taking me apart so easily?????
Oh Crap!! Mr. "Nice Guy" is a writer for a BDSM site!!! He had tools at his disposal I had never seen and machines that shouldn't be allowed. The Evil Rat Bastard even had collaborators. He doesn't want to change me in the slightest. He relishes in the "testing" aspects of BDSM and had been searching for muscle that would go down fighting. His trap was set and he had been waiting for someone like me to strut into it. I never had a chance against him. OH HELL YEAH, I FOUND THE PERFECT DOM FOR ME!!!
And so it continues today. My poor Sir has suffered terrible indignities, from bruises to head-butts, while learning to counter my sneaky ways. He's proud that I'm stubborn. He chuckles over the schemes that blow up in my face. He enjoys my defiance even when I go beyond joking to anger. Am I a good sub? Maybe not to most but he says I'm perfect for him and that's what counts. And just to be clear who's in charge...he may suffer occasional bruises but you should see what he does to the "other guy".
My search took a long while but I've learned there is a place for us all here on Recon. There is someone looking for each of us, be they a mild slave to a stupid war horse. Never give up and never settle for less than what you deserve!
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