Member Article: Chastity – Handing Over Control

Member Article: Chastity – Handing Over Control

from Recon News

06 June 2022

By UKDeviant

There are many kinks in the fetish community and Chastity is, for me, the most powerful one (of my many). In my case, it has been a journey that started off with some experimental fun with a cheap device and has progressed over the years to being a core part of my sexual interests and central to a relationship.

My first experiences were self-locking and flicking through some websites like MetalbondNYC. After a few hours getting horny I could release myself and eject an explosion of pent-up cum. This progressed to going shopping leaving the keys at home, or even at work so I was locked overnight (when I wanted access to my cock the most!). The next step was posting the keys to myself and taking risks with first- or second-class delivery, weekend post then recorded delivery and having to collect keys in a jiffy bag addressed to me from the post office collections office when I could next get there. All variables I could not control.

Over the years, CB devices have moved from being secured with a padlock to being designed with inbuilt lock mechanisms. While I miss the rattle of a lock on your cage, the built-in locks contain about as much metal as your button fly so there are no excuses for unlocking to fly. Apps like Chaster have come out and give excellent self-locking or KH control with some risks and uncertainty. eBay and other sites are full of affordable devices and the 3D printed cages are very impressive and well regarded. Some cages are open bar or lattice structured which makes keeping clean simple and with a PA you have options for added security.

Initially, you are very conscious of the cage. "I couldn't wear it at work in case someone spots it" – if they do then they looking at your crotch area – Why? And if they know what one is, then that, in itself, is of significant interest and worth exploring… For me I have reached a stage where I am very comfortable in public with it on and at RECON events or the occasional Sauna trip wear it confidently and with pride.

As my periods of lockup grew, there were several important discoveries:

• Being horny permanently, instead of having a wank, is a drug – The longer you are locked, the hornier you get, and you want more of it. It is highly addictive.

• Putting the key out of immediate reach is a thrill and a risk – and trusting someone with holding the key for the first time was a milestone moment. While you may have set a clear time period, the thought that this might be extended beyond what was agreed is exciting, and secretly, you might be happy for this to happen.

• The constant feeling of the ring and cage locked as you sit, walk, drive and move about is something that is always edging you a little. A permanent reminder. Constantly constraining your penis and keeping you hard.

• You want more and the range of devices is extensive.

As a sub guy I want to please, to take care of and worship someone. The chastity devices then become a powerful tool – they reinforce whose cock is important and who is in control. Being locked up in a chastity device means that I can not pleasure myself, so my focus is on the Dom or key holder.

My day-to-day work role has also had a strong influence here too. It is demanding. I have many responsibilities and much accountability. As a key decision maker my work life is not confined to normal working hours. I am in control in my work life. Outside of work, the process of handing over control to someone else and not having to, or being able to, make any decisions is not stressful at all, but the opposite. It is liberating. When your Dom / Master / KH is playing with you, he has your total focus and everything else in life falls away.

As subs, we are here to serve – whether that is for a few hours' kinky fun, a partnered relationship, roleplay or full ownership and transfer of power. We also proudly display this and in Soho or other gay friendly areas, a chain and padlock collar are a clear and visible symbol of ownership and proudly displayed. This inequality, and acceptance of differing status, between two people is, for both parties, very satisfying Only one cock is important. Bringing chastity into the relationship adds a whole new dimension allowing the Dom / Master / Owner to have a very horny and focused sub for as long as he wants. Interestingly, at the Admiral Duncan last weekend I spoke to the other guys with padlocked chains locked around as a collar, and we were all locked and in different stages of our journeys.

So, at this point my journey has progressed to a full steel belt. It is utterly inescapable which is important for my Owner, so he has complete peace of mind I am fully focused on him when he wants. It is also important for me because when the addiction for TPE grows and becomes entwined with your sexual desires, you reach the point where no way out is a drug.

I have a Behind Barz Belt which is a stainless-steel device that securely encloses your (your KH's) assets. There is no small luggage padlock that can be snapped off or plastic lugs you could carefully hacksaw through. These smaller, less costly devices are brilliant for the journey, but the peak (with todays products on the market) is a belt like this one which is without a doubt one of the best two makes available, and for me the best as it does not require unlocking for hygiene cleaning and is very adaptable.

This is today's peak of the product range but over the next few years I expect new products will be made - perhaps a belt with a well-integrated Bluetooth vibrate, stimulate, shock capability.

So, a little while ago I asked someone if they would take ownership of me. That means the keys to the belt are now his property and there are no rules or agreements on duration. Only he can end the ownership, and which point he still owns the keys. The only limits on my use are brown, illegal or permanent harm. There is the prospect of occasional release in return for significant improvement in skills and training, so this is a focus to improve. Prior to taking ownership, we had also discussed 4 of my past limits I want to gain experience with which include Deep Throating without gagging and watersports. Beyond that there are no limits.

The thrill and excitement about the loss of control and uncertainty is something many of you will have fantasised about and some will be experiencing now. For me, it is enforced by an inescapable steel belt and complete denial of personal satisfaction. Many online stories end with the sentence "Be Careful What You Wish For" – for me I have got what I wish for and could not be happier.

This is largely due to the personality of my Owner. Some TPE relationships include strict protocols, Objectification, brutality, modifications. The dynamic I have with my Owner allows for banter, pushing back a bit and bratty behaviour. I'm quickly learning where that line is, and punishments have followed in many forms. Verification photographs of the locked cage are expected morning and night which is another form of control and, importantly, contact.

For the dynamic to be effective there needs to be good communication. WhatsApp is a good platform for NSAW images, immediate communication and video clips. Being the locked guy, I usually respond quickly when the app sounds a notification because he has my total attention. Conversely, he will reply when he is ready – I am there when required for his use and amusement when it suits him, but the interaction is cheeky, fun, personal but I know exactly where I am. This is also a significant antidote to the pressures of work. While I am owned and controlled, I am also liberated of stress and other life challenges which has a significant positive impact on my mental health and happiness.

The keys, for safety reasons, are kept in a Masterlock Bluetooth lockbox which I keep. My Owner is the only person who can grant access and the box is also totally secure. The only way I can ask for it to be opened is by messaging "EMERGENCY" – and it had better be.

Today, I am owned and securely locked up. I am being trained in person and remotely to become the slave he would like to see, and I have no say in this. My limits are being safely and progressively pushed and I have no say on how this develops. Happily, my Sir is safe and sane, and I trust him completely. He is changing my behaviour (outside of work) and I have the hope of occasional release or other reward. It is exciting and thrilling and at times my (His) cock is a leaking, horny mess.

If you are looking for a Key Holder, Owner or Master - Safe, Sane and Trust are the three criteria you MUST NOT compromise in your search.

I am always happy to share experiences in messages and, if you are near Hampshire UK, then show or let you try a device out. It won't be my main Behind Barz Belt though as that is almost certain to be locked on me – but I do have a second one... You will also see me at the RECON events at FIRE which we have all missed in the last two years. Find me: UKDeviant on Recon, @UK_Deviant on Twitter and author of a multi chapter chastity-based story on MetalbondNYC as UK_Deviant. Finally, proud to be owned by @ukbigfootdom.

***If you'd like to share a fetish or kink experience in a member article, send your ideas or a first draft to: