It is quite evident that current lockdown and social distancing are quite country specific and its impacting people in various ways. One of the casualties of this is cancellation of various fetish events in the western world that are staple to us - the fetishists, the kinksters. These fetish events help the community and us, who have embraced fetish as part of our lives, to live a life that we not necessarily can take out of the privacy of our four walls or a specific club. And these cancellations are affecting me immensely.
Let me tell a little bit about myself to understand it better. Most part of my life, I have lived in and around London, UK. Two and half years ago I moved to Germany but until then I almost never ventured the world of Fetish and Kinks, other than one visit to now non-existent 'The Hoist', without really knowing what it was really. I was aware of few Kinks but did not know the extent of it or what they meant in my life. At the very beginning of my new life in Germany, I came across the Recon site and decided to create a profile. It might seem strange but overnight I became a kinky fetish guy and was not living just a vanilla life anymore, realising this is something I like, this is who I am. I tried to embrace this new identity as quickly as possible. Part of that was meeting and experimenting with lots of different people to understand my Fetish, my kinks and myself in particular. In this process my experience been different and noteworthy. However, that is for another time.
Attending fetish events became a large part of this self-searching process as well. I actually have not been to that many events but whichever events I have attended, have gradually shaped me. I would like to list them to note the progress – Antwerp Darklands 2019 and 2020, Copenhagen Finlandization 2019, Paris Fetish Weekend 2019, Berlin Folsom 2019, London Fetish Weekend 2020, Paris Rubber Weekend 2020. In total this is probably not that many, in two years, however attending these events were a welcome bliss in my own self-finding process.
Initially I went to these events with my goggled eyes not knowing where to look at as everything was attracting my attention. I did not know how to focus onto anything specifically and over the time realised that I did not need to focus on one particular kink-I can embrace every kink and fetish but that realisation came later. During these initial attendances I found that connecting to people with different kinks and Fetishes for sexual experiences was not hard at all. However, I did not get the opportunity to connect to anybody on a social level, which I craved most. Various reasons for that including me not sure about how to approach anybody in a non-sexual way. I was too conscious about myself and others and that stopped me. In time and through the events I attended, I met different people with whom I started to socialise as well. fetish events have given me the confidence to express myself further in a social (Fetish) environment where I was happy to embrace my fetish, my love for leather and rubber. This growing up also reflected on how I presented myself to others in a club or on my Recon profile. Furthermore, every time I planned to attend an event; the whole process excited me from the very beginning. The booking of hotel or transport to preparing for various events and the gear, and especially the organising of meetings with others, every single thing kept me excited until the actual event happened. I always like to plan way ahead so something to look forward to in between them.
As I started pretty late, and recently, I wanted to experience as much as possible within a short period of time, and during the pandemic the loss of events is affecting me most. In Germany we are not in that much lockdown and social distancing, or at least not in the region where I am living. However, fetish events were where I could go to meet likeminded people, socially and sexually, whom I would not see normally and could wear different gear. These are the things I am missing most.