Tonight's the fetish party you've been waiting for, and you're not leaving till you're 100% spent, broken and covered in as many different bodily fluids, from as many different men as possible.
You've been reasonably "good" all month, so fuck it, this one's going to get messy.
You enter the club and take a moment to have your pic taken with friends. You're looking your best, so why the hell not. It's a free, professionally taken profile picture after all.
Quick courtesy drink with your chums, then off to the play rooms. You head to the darkroom maze to see what's cooking. Quite a bit it turns out. You get stuck in.
Now off to the piss pool! You're really on a roll. Time to get wet and wild.
You're soaked. You're content. You're having the time of your life.
Let's see if you can find a free sling. By chance you find your spot in a centrally located little number. You MAY have skipped the disorderly, honour based queue, but you're too far gone to care for etiquette.
And there you remain. For what seems like days. You lose track of time…and men.
Eventually you feel you may need some fresh air. A cigarette at the very least. So you reluctantly dismount.
You've certainly ticked all the boxes of your intentions for the evening. You're a mess. You're the best possible kind of mess. You've not felt this good in quite some time. You see your friends in a cluster so you shuffle over to join them.
You realise what's just taken place. In a blissful state you've inadvertently stumbled into a group shot. The photographer's disappeared into the crowd before you have time to protest. You force it out of your mind and say a little prayer to the fetish gods
Over the next few days you wait. The pics are eventually released. With trepidation you start to click through. Your first pic is great. Maybe a little bit of a paunch, but a good filter can cover that. Then BAM. With one click you've been brought low. Your friends look hot, poised and better than ever. On the end you stand looking like something dragged out of a canal.
You know that the high quality of your friends means that this one's going to be liked, circulated and used on profiles. The best you can hope for is mercy and the kindness of a compassionate crop.