Lynx AKA LeathermanLynx has been involved in Leather/KINK/BDSM as a follower, leader, supporter and champion of education in our community since 2015. In this piece, he speaks about his love for fire - where it began and how it made its way into his playroom.
Anyone who knows me - within the subculture of Leather, anyway - knows the one fetish that gets me going, that sends me "there", is Fire Play. I don't know if my fellow Kinksters out there have a favourite or "No. 1" fetish that they're into, but for me it's always been Fire. There's something about watching a trail of fire trace across bare skin that just gets me off. I mean, there's more to it than that but yes, that's pretty sexy to me.
My affair with fire started well before I knew what a kink or fetish was. Honestly, I didn't know much of anything when I was 9 years old - except the things 9-year-olds were expected to know.
When I was a kid, my mom would send me down south every summer to visit with my grandparents and extended cousins. It was the deep south; slow, rural and poor, but somehow - resilient. I hated it. I would have much rather stayed in Chicago, but at 9 years old; with the mother I had...I just did as I was told.
This particular summer, Mississippi had a significant heat wave with temperatures above 100F for days in a row. Everything on the ground was bone dry and brown. I would pass the time by "exploring" in the woods that surrounded my grandparents' house. I came upon this old shack that had been weathered by both Mother Nature & Father Time. It was still standing but just barely - covered in branches, leaves and cobwebs.
I ran up to that shack and looked around. Looked like something that hadn't been used in years. I had a book of matches in my short pockets. [I used to like striking them and watching them burn down to the tips of my finger while smelling that strange, but addictive "burn" of the wood.] I took out the book of matches and lit one. I put it to a withered pine needle that was stuck in one of the windows and POOF! In a few seconds, an entire branch was on fire. That flame grew and grew and grew until nearly half of the shack was lit up. I knew I was in trouble - they'd probably kill me - but more than that, the fire that was blazing sent a feeling of some sort through my body. I felt...something. I was also hard as a rock.
Now this should not suggest that I enjoy setting things on fire. That was the first and last time I burned anything down, but I think that was the "moment" I knew fire did something different to me … and I liked it.
Fast forward some 17 years later, I found myself sitting in on a Wax Play class where I learned about hot wax and how it can be incorporated into a scene. (Hm... another way to play with Fire.) Although Wax is the focal point of the lesson, I couldn't help wonder what could be done with the fire that's melting the wax. Learning how to play with Wax led me to the discovery of Fire Play.
For those who don't quite know what Fire Play is, the explanation is pretty plain. It's a form of edge play -- in the sense that it's on the higher end of the "risk spectrum." The action of Fire Play is performed by placing fire very near - or on - the skin for pleasure or arousal. Many people who are into Temperature Play find that fire is a welcomed addition to their cannon of play elements.
● Side Note: Although the fetish might be about fire, it very well may be more about how it makes one feel opposed to the flame itself. For example, if someone likes to be choked in bed; it doesn't necessarily mean that they are enamoured with suffocating or feeling out of breath - then again… (Bravo, if you are!). Seriously though, my guess would be that it's the 'excitement' of the breath play that gives a more intense and satisfying orgasm.
One of the first things I was taught with regard to playing with fire were the high risks for damage, danger and injury. It's imperative that anyone who begins exploring with Fire Play understands the very real possibilities that exist for things to go badly. Add to that the knowledge needed for execution (involving fuel types, tools, set-up, safety provisions, First Aid precautions and more), it's hard to understand how or why this would be erotic or sexually fulfilling. But, once we know the rules, establish the trust and are as prepared as we can be, our attention can turn to the beauty of what fire can do...and it does some pretty amazing things.
For most subs I've had the privilege of playing with, the experience has been compared to a more intense or elevated sensual massage experience. I'll agree. There's lots of rubbing, palpating, squeezing, and body contact. That does feel good and can definitely increase the sexual energy between those involved. Others are turned on by the smell of their own hair being singed away during the scene.
I like that smell too, among many, many other...smells. But that's a story for another time.
From my personal experiences, having the ability to watch the body react to the dance of the flame, the changes in temperature, or watching a string of fire travel across the skin (never the same way twice), is hot as hell for me, pardon the pun. Fire Play isn't necessarily a gateway towards a hot fuck or a toe-curling cum shot, but it can summon some pretty intense and horny feelings. Once that happens … who knows what's next.
Oh, and that shack I set on fire? My grandmother and grandfather put it out with a water hose...and I was right - they nearly killed me.