How each of us come to a point in our life where we decide what is an isn't acceptable and why has been on my mind lately.
The reason such things have come into focus is my recent introduction to chastity. Chastity is confining and freeing, empowering and emasculating, and redefines points of view by removing or suppressing a huge barrier, ego.
Without chastity, a huge aspect of who I am is my penis. It is large, and easily stirred. It defines me as a well hung individual, hence ego centric. In chastity, the presence or size of my penis is immaterial, as is anything that might stir it, since stirring it only causes discomfort, which reminds me of chastity, and my lack of control in chastity.
Without the thought of what might arouse me as a motivator to self-satisfaction, HIS satisfaction becomes paramount.
Now, back to where I started, being quite new to chastity, and in an amazingly wonderful situation for a very short time, I walked away from what might have been one of the best experiences in my life, because I still clung to my ego strongly enough to decide polygamy was unacceptable. This was partly due to some lifelong beliefs that polygamy equates to faithlessness, and due to some personal baggage based primarily on birth order. Second-borns are forever living with the early childhood experience of every accomplishment being overshadowed, resulting in a "what about me, when is MY turn to be the SOLE focus" storyline that becomes incredibly difficult so shake.
Perhaps it is the recent loss or perhaps it is the chastity or perhaps the combination, but I no longer cling to that assumption about polygamy, and have felt a huge burden lifted when I was able to realize these stupid beliefs have denied me at least one once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, perhaps more.
There is power in chastity, and I am so happy to have found it, but, frankly, I'm a little scared about how monumental a shift this has caused in who I am as a person (change is always a bit scary). It has me eagerly anticipating those very changes, though. It takes one's breath away. Thank you for reading.
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