I believe everyone here has his own story about finding out what fetish they are really into. This applies to me as well. I tried to hide my dark side for many years because I couldn't recognize fetish as a so-called normal life. I grew up in a small town in China and even being gay is very hard for me. I hide my sexual orientation until I went to college in the US. However, I know there is always a dark/dirty side to me down in my heart. I want to let you know how I found out the fetishes that I'm super into.
Bondage-This was my first fetish dream when I was a child. I still remember the first time when I watched David Copperfield's magic show when he was tied up by a rope, my penis got very hard. During that time, I believe I don't even know how to masturbate. The ropes on his body made me feel so exciting. I hoped that I could be him. Later on, I watched different magic shows, but I was only interested in one specific category which was the escape. Any scene when I saw magician was chained, tied, and restrained, I got sexual stimulation. When I was a teenager, I don't even need to watch porn to release myself. A restrained magic show will do everything.
Later on, I know this fetish is bondage. I like to be bound and fucked, hopeless; this can release my pressure when I lose control of a basic movement. The rope burns left on my skin is the best mark in the world. I usually play bondage with a bondage Master in the room, but this year, I finally experience the bondage in public during Folsom San Francisco. That was a fantastic experience. When strangers compliment me, it made me feel so confident. This also affects how I act in daily casual life.
Rubber - I'm a person who can't do a scene without any rubber gear. The black shining rubber and its smell is the best popper in the world. When I was young, I liked hot guys in a diving suit or surf suit. The black color made those hot guys even hotter and sexier. When I know the word "rubber" has another meaning, it opened another door for me. I like to be sealed into a full rubber and feel the second skin. I like to wear rubber long hours and my record was 4 days locked. Shining my rubber and play with other rubber drone is the most fabulous experience. The shining black made me feel confident. The tight feeling made me feel safe. This feeling is better than any sex act.
I attended MIR18 and it was my first-time to wear rubbers outside of the bedroom and met with a lot of rubber friends. This was my first time involved in the fetish community and saw fetish as a part of the culture. The trip to MIR18 made me rethink about my fetish self-identification. I decided to come out again, but this time is from the fetish closet. Starting then, I never hide my fetish side when I with my friends and always try to promote fetish pride. I'm not afraid to put a red hanky in my jeans pocket to show off that I'm a fisting bottom or wear rubber and leather harnesses in public outside of the T-shirt or shirt. I am very proud of myself to be a fetish boy.
Being a fetish guy is not only to please my body but how to involve in this community. I don't deny that there are a lot of irresponsible folks in this community and everyone has one or more bad experiences, but it won't disappoint me to pursue my fetish life. I want to thank my handler who taught me a lot of fetish knowledge. I think for any fetish newbie, finding a mentor is very important. He not only will push your limits but teach how to protect yourself. Besides, my mentor also taught me a lot of fetish culture and how to have a voice in this community. I attended a member-only play party during Folsom this year and I also volunteered for the first time.
Attending fetish events are very helpful to come out as a fetish guy because you will know yourself better when you meet with many similar hot guys all over the world. Talking about my fetish experience is no shame anymore. Asians are somehow underrepresenting in this community and because of the cultural barriers we don't usually talk about fetish fantasies with anyone. However, I see more and more Asian boys are coming out to fetish events. The fetish experience helped me build my personality. Since then, I'm not always that quiet boy. I became more self-confident. I knew many good rubber friends from MIR18. My handler taught me leather knowledge during CLAW19. I met my good rubber buddy at FWL2019. I played in public for the first-time during Folsom SF. I am into fetish for over 15 years, but this year is my real fetish coming out year. At last, I want to say, "Don't deny your true heart and desires and enjoy your fetish life".
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