from Recon News

20 July 2018

Master Dominic helps to answer members' questions, exploring BDSM and fetish relationships - providing tips for developing your caning etiquette.

"I'm fascinated by heavier caning sessions, I've only had it done to me a few times and I've not done it to anyone myself because I'm worried I'll get it wrong and seriously hurt them. Do you have any tips for how to step up a notch?"

Master Dominic writes:

I fucking love caning, so I'm enjoying its recent surge in popularity. I'm glad to get asked about doing it safely too. People often underestimate the skill, importance of precision and potential risks – I often joke that it's just beating the bejeezus out of someone with a big stick, but it's not. So, you need to practice!

Buy a thin, inexpensive, straight rattan cane that isn't too long or heavy – generally one the approximate length of your arm. You'll be able to hone precision a lot more easily with a short cane. Then pop into a cheap home furnishing store and buy yourself an incredibly tasteful crushed velvet style cushion cover; one that will have indentation marks when caned. Bonus points for one with a picture of a vapid boy band or celebrity on it. Put it at the same height that your subs bottom would be and stand directly to the side of the cushion-butt. Eventually you'll feel comfortable enough with it to figure out your gait and where you want to stand in terms of angles, but just standing squarely to the side is the best way to master some precision.

You're aiming to strike with the tip of the cane - if you hit with the middle of the cane you're likely to snap it, which kind of kills the mood. Hitting with the tip of the cane makes it much easier to aim too.

Before assuming the position, slide the cane across the cushion slap bang in the middle of it so there's a line you can see and aim for. Take a medium strength swing at the line - enough to cause a swish noise through the air when you swing it but not so fast that you feel like you can't control where it lands. Don't bring your arm out too far from the butt-cushion – the further the cane must travel, the less precise the landing will be. Do two or three slow practice strokes making gentle contact with the cushion so you're lining up the swing and starting to commit it to muscle memory. Do this on a person too, it's excellent for building anticipation. Remember not to swing too hard, you want it to be a controlled strike with some of those "swoosh" sound effects. If you hit the existing indentation precisely, congratulations, you're a natural. If you didn't, don't stress, just keep at it until you can hit that line bang on confidently.

When you've mastered that, you want to make a brand-new line with a proper stroke directly below the first. The traditional set of strokes for a caning, is six at a time (often referred to as Six of The Best) so a good way of doing six is to go above the middle pillow line, then below it, then above it, then below the lowest stroke and repeat until you've delivered six precise lines – that spreads out the stinging for the sub and gives you something to aim for. Note that the highest stroke should ALWAYS be on their backside – use their buttcrack as a marker for how high to go, and if possible leave a good inch or two between the highest stroke and the top of their ass crack in case you fuck up and go too high. If that happens, you're still hitting the butt and not their spine. It's better to end up going a bit too low and hitting the tops of their thighs, than it is to go too high.

So, putting it into action: warm them up! You'd be really surprised at how quickly caning can make your sub hit their limit. A gentle, slow spanking is the best way to do it. It gets endorphins going to help deal with the pain and brings blood into the tissue, which acts as padding. Always communicate that if there's much force used you're likely to have a sore backside for a while, and ensure they've consented to that. I occasionally get people who ask to be severely caned but can't have marks – I'm good, but I'm not that good. It's normal to have a red, angry butt afterwards! For people who don't assume you're capable of defying the laws of biology, the temporary marks are usually an appealing part of caning, which is another reason precision is king. They'll come up in nice neat lines, which is an exciting visual reminder of the encounter. Once they're warmed up and ready to be caned, so long as they're okay with it, restrain them. Precision and control flies straight out the window as soon as they start wriggling. Have them led forward so they can put their entire weight on whatever they're restrained to instead of standing. Start gentle.

When you're done, look after them! Let them relax for a few minutes before getting up, give them water, then stick the kettle on and give them something to eat to bring their blood sugars back up. It's common for such an intense experience to bring out feelings, so be prepared for some potential weepiness or for them to be quieter than usual. Be patient, be kind, continually practice your aim and try not to whack yourself in the eye with it. Trust me, that sucks. Good luck!

If you'd like to ask our Uncle of Agony for advice relating to your fetishes and kinks – either with your username or anonymous - please send your question FAO: Uncle of Agony to: social@recon.com