from Recon News

12 November 2018

Lifestyle Dominant and professional sex educator – Master Dominic – helps to answer members' questions and provide advice to those exploring BDSM and fetish relationships.

Hello Dominic,

I'm really keen to get into sounding, but I've heard a lot of horror stories about injury and pain. I'm a bit confused as to which types of sounds are best and I have no idea how to care for and disinfect the equipment, so I'd really appreciate a few pointers. Thank you!

Master Dominic writes:

Sounding – first off, it's not what it sounds like! For anyone rushing to Google; sounding is the insertion of a (usually metal) rod into the urethra. It can be intensely pleasurable and lead to orgasms for some - I think a big part of why people don't know a lot about it is because it conjures up images of uncomfortable medical tests for a lot of people. We've all had a heavy-handed nurse ram a swab down there at some point. (This isn't common practice for getting tested any more so it's no excuse not to go, boys!) I don't like to make people fearful of trying new things and sounding enthusiasts will shout about its pleasures from the rooftops at any given chance for good reason, but you're right to want to know about cleanliness, injury and things to avoid.

So, first, a shopping list. Purchase a metal set of sounds – there are many different shapes and styles. It ends up being a matter of taste, but I'd always advise starting with a set of Dittel sounds. They're usually straight rather than curved, have a flattened end which makes holding them easy with lubey hands and stops them getting sucked in if you or your partner have a lot of length to work with – kind of like the flared base on butt toys stops your arse from swallowing them. Then you'll need sachets of sterile lube (you can get sterile lube in tubes, but sachets ensure each application is sterile), disposable latex/nitrile gloves, a small bucket/washing up bowl, tissues, antibacterial hand gel and baby bottle sterilising fluid. I know it's an uncomfortable analogy, but don't sterilise any insertable equipment with anything you wouldn't sterilise a baby bottle with – so the exact same stuff works.

Lay your equipment out where it's all easy to get to and you won't end up dropping it on the floor. That's what the bucket is for – if you do lose grip and drop a sound, plonk it straight in the bucket and don't use it again until you've sterilised it. Change gloves if they come into contact with anything other than the penis you're aiming for and your equipment and apply some antibacterial hand gel in between glove changes. It might not be sexy to people who don't have a medical fetish, but it's necessary!

Now you're all set up to play hygienically, you need a bit of anatomical knowledge. Make sure the person receiving the sound is hard – if they're soft you're much more likely to scratch something and you have significantly less length to work with, obviously. It's advisable, but not mandatory, to make them wear a cock ring as the sensation can cause some people to lose a bit of rigidity which can kill the fun. Also, start with the SECOND smallest sound in the kit – often the very smallest is very pointy and quick to cause pain. I own an absurd amount of sounds and I don't think I've ever used the smallest one, they're a bit lethal.

The most important thing to know about the physical act itself in my (not very humble) opinion is what's referred to as the 'drop point'. You should NEVER push down firmly onto a sound, it should slide down easily, almost on its own, with your hand just gently guiding it and keeping it in place. Loads of sterile lube needs to be applied to the sound and to the tip of his penis so it's slick and wet; I usually apply two sachets. Once you've inserted a small amount of the sound – say about an inch – you're looking for the angle which lines up with the shape of his penis comfortably. It might take a few minutes to find the drop point, and that's fine, but eventually the sound will slide in on its own with a little help from gravity. You'll feel his body sort of go "Hey, come in!" and there it is! If you feel you need to push down to get the sound to go in, you haven't found the drop point yet. Keep adjusting the angle until it happens – a bit like changing gears in a car. Next, let go of the sound and watch how far it drops on its own, making sure you keep your hand right next to it so you can stop it if it goes too far. His body will naturally stop accepting it when it's ready, and that gives you the answer to how deep to take it. If there's any pain, wincing or pulling away it's too deep and you need to pull it back out a bit. Sounding shouldn't hurt, and you shouldn't be able to see a lump through the skin of his penis where the sound is, unless you're using an enormous sound which I can't imagine you are as a beginner.

Now you've found the drop point, you know how far his body can comfortably accept the sound, it's time to have fun with it. I view sounding as similar to gentle fucking, so imagine you're fucking his dick, essentially. Slow, sensual strokes in and out to begin with to cause pleasurable yet gentle sensations. As with fucking, once his body is relaxed and it's feeling good for him you can speed up slightly but you don't ever want to build up a lot of speed, keep it sensual instead of spirited. You can experiment with a wider sound, different textures and shapes – the rest is up to you! I thoroughly recommend experimenting with electro sounds at some point, but that's another topic for another day...

When you're done, BEFORE removing the sound, grab those tissues I mentioned. It's not guaranteed, but sometimes when you remove the sound, you'll get a bit of blood squirt out. It's a nasty shock if you aren't prepared for it, but you shouldn't be alarmed. If it squirts, not dribbles, it's pressure build up. Be ready with the tissues, make sure you're still wearing gloves and gently remove the sound and hold the tissue near the tip of his penis, like how they take a needle out and immediately put cotton wool at the site for a blood test. Drop the used sounds in the bucket and sterilise them, following the instructions on the sterilising fluid bottle. If there's pain and a bit of blood mixed in with lube that's an injury – you've been too rough. Keep an eye on injury and don't hesitate to go to the doctor and tell them exactly what happened, just in case you need antibiotics. Bonus points for maintaining eye contact throughout the entire appointment. Happy (and hygienic) sounding!

If you'd like to ask our Uncle of Agony for advice relating to your fetishes and kinks – either with your username or anonymous - please send your question FAO: Uncle of Agony to: social@recon.com