Lifestyle Dominant and professional sex educator – Master Dominic – helps to answer members' questions and provide advice to those exploring BDSM and fetish relationships.
"My Master occasionally slaps my balls gently, and it's really horny. He says he'd like to try taking it further, but I'm a bit apprehensive about the pain and he doesn't want to cause any damage. Could you give us a how-to, on entry level ballbusting? I imagine you've battered a fair few pairs in your time. Cheers!"
Master Dominic writes:
I'd be delighted! It's not as tricky as you might imagine to comfortably (and safely) bust his nuts, but it is something that requires a bit of anatomical knowledge and strategy. If you go in hard and heavy they're likely to get very sore, very fast and you'll set off a chain reaction of stomach cramps and nausea. Not cute. So, allow me to provide you with my three-point plan of attack…
1. First and foremost, as always, establish a safe word. When you're experimenting with some-thing new and a bit intense, it's really important. Ensure the sub is hydrated, rested and isn't run-ning on an empty stomach. Now, to begin! The Dom needs to get the sub to stand with his feet shoulder width apart and take a good mental image of how low his nuts hang while they're loose and relaxed. Balls tighten up the more aroused or close to an orgasm you get, so it needs to be at the beginning of a scene, when they're dangling around freely in the breeze. That mental image is important because that's the furthest he'll be pulling them away to begin with – if the subs balls are able to hang at that length naturally, it won't be too uncomfortable or shocking to have them yanked back to that distance once they've tightened up during the scene. The sub doesn't need to stand for the whole experience, just at the beginning.
2. The Dom has a good idea of the natural stretch distance. Now for some of the fun research; how much discomfort the subs balls can take before you get a flinch or a vocal "ow". To do this, all the Dom needs to do is plop said balls into the palm of his hand, move his fingers slightly to give them a bit of a massage, and occasionally (slowly) squeeze until the "ow" happens. When the Dom has figured out where the "ow" is, he can play with almost taking his sub there, but then stopping be-fore the "ow". Alternate between massaging and squeezing for a minute or two to get the testicles used to being man handled.
The reason I suggest a squeeze is that it's the most familiar sensation to the testicles naturally – they expand when a man is horny, so they're used to getting bigger and smaller. If the Dom were to start with a slap or kick immediately it's not such a familiar sensation, and so is likely to be too much to start with. This approach to ballbusting is the same as he'd approach fisting or spanking; get the area warmed up, touch it in ways that it's used to, and then he can start thinking outside the box. If a sensation is a shock or too abstract for that body part, it's more likely to bring the sub to their limit quickly.
3. The squeezing is received nicely? Fantastic. Now's the time to give a testicle a quick, sharp flick. It's the final sensation test to run – he knows how far he can pull them, he knows how hard he can squeeze them, so now he needs to know how hard he can hit them. A flick doesn't feel the same as a kick/slap, obviously, but it is a great jumping off point for how much impact they can take. The sub should be told to take a deep breath and the flick delivered as they breathe in. The sub will more than likely pull his body away and yelp at the flick – and that creates a game.
Hold onto the balls firmly, flick one and don't let go as he pulls away; the sub is now yanking on his own balls when he pulls away and can be admonished for trying to escape from his Dom. Return to massaging/squeezing for a minute, flick again, tell them off for flinching again. See where I'm going with it? Excellent fun. When there's a game set up it feels less like someone's just bothering your balls and more like an interactive experience.
We're at the point now when harder sensations can be introduced in place of the flick. Pretend a flick is coming, then give them a controlled, blunt slap with the heel of a hand. Nothing hard, noth-ing that feels like a punch, just a blunt slap. After a few flicks alternated with a few slaps the sub will flinch less, which means he's more in the zone. Success! Time to go to town, in whatever way you both feel comfortable with. I advise against kicks, it's too easy to lose control of your leg and cause damage, so stick to a hand or a toy for harder sensations. A slipper or a leather paddle is a firm favourite of mine – something with a flat surface that you can control easily. Continue to al-ternate between the three sensations; tugging, squeezing and impact, paying attention to how he's breathing. If you're both loving it but he's struggling to stay stood up, that's fine, lie him down.
As with anything pain related its good practice to stop before it gets too much rather than getting them to a point they can't cope with and having to stop the scene, so when you start to feel like his bollocks are achieving a well-busted state, stop. Have ibuprofen on hand to soothe any swelling and give them a good week to recover before going at them again. Before you know it, you'll be able to use his sack as a wind sail with minimal discomfort or recovery time. Enjoy!
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